Hank's Guide to Zombies


This here is a description o’ the different types o’ zombies that has been encountered. Its purpose is to keep y’all informed and updated in case y’all runs into any o’ them deaders. Make sure you read it, and ask Sergeant Martinez, Terrence, Bert, Flash or me if you have any questions. Knowledge is power, folks.

This here’ll be updated whenever anybody gets any new info about any kind o’ zombies. If you know something, share! Be sure and clear it with Charlie before y’all adds it here, though, since he’s in charge.


AKA Shamblers

These are your basic walkin’ dead, straight outta the horror movies. They’re slow and dumb as a bag o’ hammers, but they’re persistent and mean. One roamer ain’t much of a threat – y’all can usually just outrun ‘em – but they tends to travel in packs of six or more.

They attacks by clawin’ and bitin’, and even a scratch is bad – it infects the poor sap with whatever it is what makes zombies, and turns him into one. It don’t always happen fast, but it always happens. If you even think you’ve been scratched or bit, see Doc – he can help. The best bet on roamers is to just run – there’s too dang many to put a dent in ‘em. If you have to fight, smash ‘em in the head. Hittin’ the body won’t put ‘em down, but it might shake ‘em up for a minute if you just need to run.

Update: Roamers is gettin’ smarter. They’re still dumb as my old hound-dog, but they’s learned to walk around fire, and climb, and attack doors and windows instead of walls. Don’t assume any ol’ trick will work on ‘em any more.


AKA Fast Zombies, Fever Zombies

These suckers is fast. Like, scary fast. They look like a dead guy without any fat – just bone and muscle, with weird gray skin. Their skin is hot to the touch, like they’ve got a high fever. They can run faster’n a man, and they’re better fighters than the roamers. They’re smarter, too. Sometimes they set ambushes.

Sprinters attack with their claws and teeth, and they’re a lot better at it than roamers. Gettin’ bit by a sprinter is real bad – the poor sap turns into a sprinter. Ain’t sure how long it takes, since so far anyone who got bit by a sprinter also got killed by a sprinter.

The best way to fight sprinters is with a ranged weapon. Shoot ‘em in the head; hittin’ the body doesn’t hurt ‘em any more than it does regular roamers. You can’t outrun ‘em, so make sure you’ve got a workin’ vehicle nearby.


AKA Pukers

These zombies look like bodies of fat guys like me, what’ve gotten all bloated and even fatter. Like, real fat. They’re slow, but they can attack at range.

Fatboys attack by spittin’ acid on people. They kinda puke it out like a flamethrower, and it can reach dang near fifty feet. It burns flesh and blinds you if y’all get caught in it, but it don’t seem to cause zombification like gettin’ bit would.

Regular zombies ain’t harmed by a fatboy’s pukin’ – in fact, it seems to drive ‘em into a frenzy, and they get wild and even meaner’n ever. Don’t know how long this lasts, since every time it’s happened the zombies has been killed soon after.

Don’t bother shootin’ a fatboy in the body – it don’t even slow ‘em down. Shoot ‘em in the head, and make sure you do it from a distance, since the suckers explode when they die. They spray goop around that seems to drive roamers crazy, just like their pukin’ does. Don’t know if it hurts humans, as we’ve been lucky enough to not get splattered by it.

Update: Fatboys is smart enough to sneak up on folks and try to bust in through a window quiet-like.


AKA Leapers, Screamers

Kings is some kinda special zombie what seems to control they others. They don’t look like much, but they move fast and agile, and can jump around twenty or thirty feet. They seems to like bein’ on rooftops, and are smart enough to sneak around and not be seen clearly.

We don’t know much about how kings fight, since we ain’t had to fight any yet. We do know they can make a scream that makes all the roamers around go kinda crazy, hittin’ harder and generally goin’ mad. This seems to last a couple of minutes. If y’all ever hears ‘em scream, you’ll know it.

Kings seem to control the other zombies, includin’ sprinters and fatboys. We seen one down in Tuscon what was watching us fight, but it didn’t bother to join in.

It’s possible that kings may hate glass and mirrors for some reason, but this ain’t been confirmed.

Other Sightings

Tentacle Monster

We’ve heard at least one report of some kind o’ critter with tentacles or arms long enough to grab a man off a second-story rooftop. This ain’t been confirmed, and nobody’s got a clear look at what did it, but something sure got him. If y’all sees anything like that, be sure and report it as fast as you can.

Zombie Dogs

We’ve gotten a couple of reports of dogs what look like zombies, but nobody’s ever got close or killed one. Zombies have been seen chasin’ critters, but so far nobody’s ever seen a zombie that wasn’t originally a human up close.

Hank's Guide to Zombies

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